May 24

Fourth in a Series: Conversations Between Brick Tamland and Alan Garner

Brick: Mm. I just burned my tongue.

Alan: Hey, there’s Skittles in there!

Brick: I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn’t cotton candy like the guy said. My tummy itches.

Alan: It’s where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it’s not a purse, it’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.

Brick: Where’d you get your clothes from? The … the toilet store?

May 16

40 for 40

As I mark the passage of 40 years on this planet, I’ve had plenty of chances to reflect on those four decades — the happy moments and the sad; the wins and the losses; and everything in between. As I rolled these years over in my head it struck me that perhaps I could put together a list — in no particular order — of 40 various people, places and things that have affected or influenced my life, brought me great joy or even provided simple lasting memories.

To my loved ones: you are ALL at the top of any list I would make like this, so realize and recognize that before you note to yourself, while reading, “What about me?” For all my cynicism and dark wit, I just love living and experiencing life so much that I could never touch on everything that’s made a mark on me in this or any space. But I can give you a decent set of examples — one for each year that I’ve lived.

May 14

Third in a Series: Conversations Between Brick Tamland and Alan Garner


Brick: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.

Alan: He’s jackin’ his little weenis. Not at the table, Carlos.

Brick: The party. With the … with the pants. Party with pants?

Alan: Nobody’s gonna fuck on you! I’m on your side! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! I hate him! He destroys cities! Please! This isn’t your fault. I’ll get you some pants.

Brick: I don’t know what we’re yelling about.

Alan: I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school. Or a Chuck E. Cheese.

Brick: Um, no, no. Too many people died last year, so we’re not gonna.

Alan: Whoa, watch it pervert!