Jul 05

Jam That Prius Where Your Minivan’s Sun Don’t Shine

I was reading this whinefest the other day. And, as someone who has been commuting in Southern California for nearly two decades now, it brought to mind one of my longest-running internal arguments.

What cars are home to the most annoying drivers? On current Southern California freeways, here are my clear top three:

  • Minivan drivers
  • Prius drivers
  • Toyota drivers in general

Certainly, you can make a case for “gardener truck guy” or “my BMW can’t be held under 90 at anytime guy,” but for consistency’s sake, no groups come close to the above three in my book.

 

Apparently, Prius drivers park as well as they do most other things.

 

But, picking a “winner”? Well, that’s is a tough one for me. Here are some basic thoughts.

  • It seems that anyone in operation of a minivan immediately loses about 50 IQ points as soon as they put the minivan into “Drive.” 60 in the fast lane or carpool lane is unacceptable, period. And, no, I don’t care if your entire stick-figure family is in the car. Why do I need to be “safer” if kids are in the car? You’re the unsafe one, wandering around the freeway’s passing and HOV lanes at unsafely slow speeds.
  • Prius drivers are either as braindead as the average minivan driver or seem to think the Prius is an old-school Honda CRX (Was anyone driving a CRX in the late 80s and early 90s not a douchebag?). The guy who gets “sad” looking at the other lanes in the earlier linked story is a great example of the first type. And, type 2, you’re not saving the environment by driving 90-plus and weaving your little car between lanes with that smug, “I’m better than you” look on your face.
  • Finally, does anyone operating a Toyota have the slightest clue of where his or her destination is? Or why it takes them 20 minutes longer than anyone else to arrive there? Or that it’s ok to make a lane change at full speed without jamming on their brakes though the lane next to them is wide open?

I never thought anyone could challenge minivan drivers for total domination in this department. For me, their historical lead is too big for Toyota (and the subset of Prius drivers) to overcome … at this point. But, get back to me in six months. You never know.

(By the way, the “jealous of the carpool” guy in the linked story should get together with the sad guy. I’m sure that’d be a fun lunch meeting)

May 16

40 for 40

As I mark the passage of 40 years on this planet, I’ve had plenty of chances to reflect on those four decades — the happy moments and the sad; the wins and the losses; and everything in between. As I rolled these years over in my head it struck me that perhaps I could put together a list — in no particular order — of 40 various people, places and things that have affected or influenced my life, brought me great joy or even provided simple lasting memories.

To my loved ones: you are ALL at the top of any list I would make like this, so realize and recognize that before you note to yourself, while reading, “What about me?” For all my cynicism and dark wit, I just love living and experiencing life so much that I could never touch on everything that’s made a mark on me in this or any space. But I can give you a decent set of examples — one for each year that I’ve lived.

Apr 24

Confusing Gay Double-Standard in L.A. Sports …

A little over a week ago, we were treated to a go-round of moralizing from sports columnists and sports talk radio hosts (something I always find amusing on its face) regarding the gay slur mouthed by Laker Kobe Bryant at an NBA official. (Disclosure: while a lifelong Laker fan, I am not a fan of Kobe Bryant, the person, which has lessened my passion for the Lakers in recent years) Certainly, while Bryant’s use of the word was unacceptable, it’s absolutely hilarious for anyone who has played or been around competitive basketball at just about any level (from high school to the NBA; from local rec league to pick-up games at 24-Hour Fitness) to act “aghast” that Bryant would say such a thing.

That word, among others, has been a staple of trash talk and angry outbursts for years — unfortunately. I am not defending Bryant for saying it — it is a word that people clearly need to remove from their vocabularies — but to act as if it was absolutely unheard of is asinine. Hence, Bryant’s inital response to requests for an apology. His initial “non-apology” was — more than the tone-deaf denial it was portrayed as by many sports journalists and commentators — merely part and parcel of the environment he’s been part of for decades. This is the same environment fomented by the screaming sports talk host or “all or nothing” sports columnist that makes the game bigger than it is.

Just this past weekend, though, I came across a more cloaked — and therefore, perhaps more disturbing — shot at homosexuals. During a Red Sox-Angels game at Anaheim, a between-innings break brought the wholly predictable appearance of the “Kiss Cam.” If you’ve been to any pro or major college sporting event in the past 10 years, you’ve seen it. The stadium video board jumps from one camera shot to another of a couple and the crowd roars until (or after) the pair kisses on camera. While it’s become part of the sports entertainment landscape, it can be funny at times when the camera focuses on a first date, or sweet when it comes up on an elderly couple. However, apparently the folks running the kiss cam in Los Angeles of Anaheim (or whatever city the Angels represent, since there’s no mention of any city anywhere in that stadium in reference to the Angels — just an omnipresent hal0ed “A”), also find humor in the idea of two men kissing. Not only that, based on the reaction of what sounded like a majority of the crowd, so too — unapologetically — do the fans. The Kiss Cam, you see, wrapped with a shot of two Boston relief pitchers sitting next to each other in the bullpen, to the hoots and hollers of more than 30,000 people.

While I personally am not offended by what, truly, is juvenile humor that would likely draw a laugh from a nervous 12-year-old, and usually I wouldn’t think twice about it, this time it struck me — mainly thanks to the recent media coverage of the Kobe situation.  How many of those 30,000 people verbalized concern about or disapproval of Bryant’s comments? How many didn’t? Where did the hypocrisy start and finish? And where, pray tell, is the media this time around? Is it not convenient to their storyline of a “greater family atmosphere” in Anaheim than at the recently ridiculed Dodger Stadium? Can you imagine the outcry from the media if they could tack “homophobic” onto that hype? Is homophobia part of a “family environment”? How would a gay Angel fan feel about it?

So, Kobe Bryant mouthing a gay slur: worthy of harsh condemnation. The Angel organization and the operators of Angel Stadium of Anaheim making a lame, but clearly homophobic, joke at least twice in three days in clear view of 30,000-plus people: oh, it’s just a joke. Hmmm.

It’s not the PC thing that gets me — either way, whether overly PC or not PC at all. It’s the sad double standard and lazy hypocrisy.